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Sally I must look
nice for him.
It’s quite
all right.
He
will wait for me.
Please don’t fret.
Sally wondered at her mother.
She knew
and her mother knew that her father was
deeply sedated.
That he would never waken.
That he would never see her again.
And yet she was taking this
time when time was now so
short.
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She felt a
flash of irritation.
Why
were old people so STUBBORN? Having at last adjusted her (now dreadfully out-of-date)
hat her mother was finally
ready.
Sally
took her by the arm, helped support her arthritically
painful walk, and
guided her out of the
house, locking the door
behind her.
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She eased her mother
into the
passenger seat of her
car.
She drove
through the quiet streets,
hushed as though respectful of the
need for their journey at this
dark hour.
Out of the corner of her
eye she saw her mother fumbling with the clasp of her handbag, saw the pale envelope as her mother reassured herself that it was there.
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Mother, I don’t know how to
say this.
I have your wedding anniversary
card in my
handbag too.
This is
yours and
Daddy’s60th… I wondered.
well.
I don’t want to hurt you or Da… She stopped, bit her
lip as she remembered
that she could never again hurt her father.
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You
are a
very dear and thoughtful
girl, Sally,
but you won’t hurt
either of us.
Of course
you must give it to him.
He will be so hurt if he
thinks you
haven’t remembered.
Sally feared that the
stress and heartbreak of her father’s illness had finally broken her mother’s mind.
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Again she felt the flare of anger.
Why wouldn’t her mother accept that her father would never know hurt again.
That he was suspended
from pain
only by the
most deeply reaching medication.
Medication intended to ease him from the agony of the
here, to the relief of the hereafter. Blind
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You know, Sally, I
can still
see him, 60 years ago
today –
well 60 years ago at 10 o’clock
anyway.
He was so
pale and nervous as he waited for me at the
altar.
I was wearing my veil down of course, as a
modest bride
should, and he couldn’t see me as I
smiled at him.
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But his face! The relief that I had
actually come to him.
To be
married to him.
As if I could
NOT have
come to him.
Sally, your father and I have had the most wonderfully
happy marriage.
I wouldn’t
change a
single day of it.
Well perhaps the odd day when I had to be angry with him
over something
totally unimportant! Caylin webcam
porn. But you have to do don’t you? You
have to be mad at your man
sometimes don’t you? Your father was always
romantic.
And it was Daddy
who wanted us to be
married today, Valentine’s
Day, 60 years ago.
Every year,
every single year except for when he was a
prisoner in the war, and even then
when he came
home to me he gave me the
Valentine’s Wishes he’d made when he was away.
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Just
little scraps of paper.
But
always something.
And
every year since then we have
made our
own Wishes for
each other.
We didn’t
buy the cards from shops.
They couldn’t say
what we
wanted to say.
I have my Wish with me
now you know.
He will
love it.
He always does.
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Sally
swallowed hard.
Any more of this and she would either
scream out loud, or yell at her mother and tell her did she know her Dad was unconscious, in a coma, dying.
She felt a
chill inside as she
wondered how she would cope
with her mother
looking down on the shrunken, wasted frame of the
man she had
loved and who would soon leave her.
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How would her mother cope –
afterwards? They were able to
park in a disabled slot right in
front of the
main visitors’ entrance and as Sally helped her mother out of the car, a porter unlocked the
doors.
She turned to the porter – Is
there a wheelchair
please for my mother.
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She is
very arthritic.
No, no, Sally.
No, I do NOT want a wheelchair.
I shall walk to him
just as I did before.
Just
give me your arm, as my own father
did as he walked me down the aisle.
I must
walk to him.
Sally wanted to run, to
rush to her father’s side, to be with him, to not let him be
alone but she knew it was
pointless to
protest.
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Her mother was so stubborn when she wanted to be.
It had
taken them well over an hour since the
phone call.
She was sure they were now too late.
She took her mother’s
arm in her own and they
slowly walked the
long quiet corridor, took the lift.
Again the halting walk.
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The side ward was dimly lit.
The covered figure still wore the oxygen
mask.
She felt relief for her mother; they had not
been too late.
Her mother bent and awkwardly
kissed her
husband’s
cheek, the oxygen mask
hissing softly.
I am here, Charles was all that she
said.
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Two heavy,
padded, hospital visitors’
chairs lined the wall, and Sally struggled to
move one to the
side of the bed for her mother.
It’s quite alright, Sally.
Leave it there by the wall.
It will give your father more space around him.
The
two women sat and waited, a
wife and a daughter. Caroliiine
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The wife calm,
composed, her eyes
free from
tears and frequently
looking at the
face of the man she loved.
The
daughter, restless, anxious, her heart
full but not yet spilling out the grief within her.
Sally fidgeted and
paced the room, looked on the shelves of the
bedside cabinet,
read the
various ‘
Get Well’ cards, pulled
open the drawer and found it empty except for her
fathers toilet items.
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